Phar Lap started it

For a dead equine celebrity, Phar Lap sure is chatty. The long-deceased champion with a heart of legendary proportions has his own Facebook account, and he’s been smack-talking the new Dinosaur Walk exhibit, which opens on Friday. Now, I’ve nothing against Phar Lap – I like horses, enough that the ethics of horseracing are worthy of a separate debate – but come on. Dinosaurs died out 65 million years ago, they don’t need any more grief! Especially not from a respected Australian icon.

Phar Lap has repeatedly said he’s afraid of the dinosaurs and glad they’re on the other side of thre museum from his good self, but I don’t buy it. Initially I thought the truth must be that he’s suffering from envy – after all, Melbourne Museum’s Phar Lap is just the wonder horse’s skin. His skeleton is in his homeland of New Zealand, while his famous heart dwells in our nation’s capital. I wonder if it’s enough to counteract the effect of all the heartless politicians? (Zing!)

I’ve now realised that he’s just bummed that he’s too far away from the Science Life gallery to be part of the Melbourne Museum Comedy Tour. And why wouldn’t he be – it’s proving quite popular! If you want to come along this year, I’d suggest you book, especially if you were eyeing the dates of the 16th, 18th or 23rd of April.

Anyway, if you’re reading this Phar Lap, I would have loved to include you – you’re a fellow ginger, after all – but we only have so much time, and so much distance we can cover! It’s a big museum – the biggest in the southern hemisphere, fellow comedy tour guide Janet A. McLeod discovered. We just can’t cover it all…but I reckon the bit we’ve chosen, which is full of bugs, sea creatures and – of course – dinosaurs is a great grab-bag to get you started. People will just have to come back another time to talk to you, Phar Lap…

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Phar Lap started it by Ben McKenzie, unless otherwise expressly stated, is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License.